Hiatus

It' been a while.

It's not that things have been particularly busy, more that I've struggled to find words to express the things I've wanted to say.  I'm still struggling.  In spite of that I know it is time to post something.

Ethne's birthday is in two weeks.  It's a day I look forward to and dread at the same time.  I'm excited for our service activities and to hear from others about what they are doing to love and serve others, but I'm also saddened that I am facing another (of many) birthdays for my Princess who is not physically here.

As I contemplate the acts of service we will participate in this year and the "celebration" I can't help but think about my boys.  I so want them to know their sister.  I need for them to understand who she
was, and still is, but they are so young.  Sometimes I feel like I am failing at this.  Mr. E knows who she is in pictures, and we often tell him that she lives with Jesus, which I think has confused him (he often calls Ethne Jesus when identifying her).  When I try to talk to him about her I often wonder if he's listening, or if he's just tuning me out.  And sometimes he changes the subject very quickly on me.  It hurts sometimes.  I try to tell him how much Ethne loves him, and what she did for him, but some times I get the impression that he just doesn't care.  I realize that he is only 4 and that much of this is beyond his comprehension, but that doesn't make it any easier.  I just wish I knew how to help him understand.  Baby J really doesn't understand, but then he doesn't really talk much either, so he can't tell me if he does.  I just need so badly for them to know their sister and I don't know how to help them.  I can only hope that some day they will understand and that these birthdays and angelversaries will come to mean something to them too and not just be days when mommy cries a lot.

I'm still not entirely sure what our 6 acts of love will be this November 11, but I know that they will be healing, in a way.  We will attend the temple, visit the cemetery, and have cake, that much I know.  As for the rest... we will have to see.  Lawrence and I would like to invite everyone who would like to join us in providing 6 acts of love for others during the week of Ethne's birthday.  They don't have to be anything big, things as simple as smiling at someone you wouldn't typically smile at can make a big difference.  We loved hearing about the things others did last year, it was like getting long-distance hugs from those who shared with us, and we will look forward to it again this year.  Help us celebrate the life of Ethne and the love that she so willingly gave and bring some of that love to those around you.  We will be doing the same.

How we celebrate

It may seem odd to those looking in, but we still celebrate Ethne's birthday every year.  It is a day for us to remember her and celebrate all the things we have learned from her short life and since.

I've mentioned that we use it as a day to celebrate our eternal family by attending the temple.  Many are aware of the service challenge we issued this year.  But we also do things Ethne enjoyed, we have cake, balloons, and sing "Happy Birthday."  This year Mr. E and I watched "Tangled," he picked it, he likes the "I Have a Dream" song, and it hit me particularly hard (more on that another time).  Then we all had chocolate toast for lunch.  I try to do something special that she would have liked with her cake, just as I do for my boys.  Last year it was a minion, this year I tried to make a butterfly out of cupcakes.  I also make sure to get a flavor that she would have enjoyed, this year it was red velvet and strawberry cheesecake (they screamed at me from the shelf that they were what Ethne would want).  There is a park next to the Herriman cemetery where Ethne rests, we meet there with any family that can and have cake.    Then we head over to the cemetery, leave balloons and often a small gift at her headstone, blow kisses, and send balloons to her in Heaven.  We also try to have a dinner that Ethne might have requested, after Lawrence and I got home from the temple and the boys were in bed we had one of Ethne's favorites, "cocorn" (popcorn).




Another way we remember is by looking through some of Ethne's special things that we keep in her chest.  Yesterday got a bit busy with service and celebrating so we didn't get to spend the time that we like to spend.  But while we ate our popcorn and Lawrence and I snuggled we did so under Ethne's quilt that Grandma Stone made for her, and hugged her "ephant."  We talked about Ethne and remembered her together.


It really was a wonderful day and I am thankful it was so full of so much goodness.  I know it's a few days late, but happy birthday, Princess!

Their acts of love

While we were busy showing love to others by serving and giving others were busy serving and giving to us.  We were recipients of 5 acts of service from others yesterday.

1.  When I started backing out of my garage to deliver freezer meals in the morning I looked in my mirror to find a car in my driveway.  It was a dark grey color so my first thought was that it was our second car, but I quickly realized that Lawrence was at work and therefore it could not be our car.  I put my SUV in park and got out to find a couple neighbors with a small veggie tray for me.  They also delivered yummy veggies to some others they thought would use a pick-me-up.  We hugged, chatted, and went on our own ways.  The veggies were super yummy and really hit the spot both yesterday as a snack and today with lunch.  Thank you!!


2.  When I got home from the freezer meal delivery I found lovely flowers on my doorstep from my visiting teachers.  They brightened my day and now brighten my kitchen.  Thank you, ladies, for thinking of me and my family!















3.  UPS pulled up in front of our house and delivered a book about life after losing a loved one.  My maternal grandmother sent it to me, I knew it was coming, but not when.  I found it appropriate that it was delivered on Ethne's birthday.  Thank you Grandma!






4.  While I was busy frosting Ethne's cupcakes I heard some voices outside my front door.  I chose to ignore them until my over-protective dog (not that she's threatening at all) herd them and started barking rather hysterically.  I tried to shush her, to no avail.  I peeked throughout the window at the top of my front door to spot hands busily taping hearts to our storm door.  I chose to leave them to their work and I returned to my cupcakes.  I don't know who "heart attacked" us, but I just love it and plan to leave the hearts on the door for the time being.  Every time I see them it makes me smile.  Thank you, whoever you are!








5.  We were a little lackadaisical about finding a babysitter for our temple visit.  I tried a cousin, but she had to work, I asked about young women in our ward, but it was mutual night with a meeting about trek, my parents were coming to the temple with us, J&J had to work-- nothing was working out.  So I started calling friends and neighbors.  Our lovely backyard neighbors were graciously willing to watch our boys for us.  They are awesome neighbors and great friends.  They watched our boys, weren't upset that we wound up in a later session than we intended to go to, and even took in our crazy dog that escaped our yard (our fence is rather ineffective at the moment) to check on the boys (like I said, over-protective).  Thank you so much, it really meant a lot that you disrupted your evening so we could go to the temple!

our not so threatening dog

Thank you everyone for your service and especially to those who served us, it really meant a lot that you were thinking of us and helping make Ethne's birthday special and that much sweeter for us.

Our acts of love

We issued the challenge, so it is only fair that we follow through and participate in it too.  We performed 5 acts of love to celebrate for our princess.  It made the day one of goodness and sharing rather than of sadness and mourning.  These acts of service and love helped us feel Ethne close to us and made a hard day much easier.  So here's what we did:

1.  Considering that Ethne's birthday falls on Veterans' day (a U.S. holiday to celebrate and thank all those who serve and have served in the armed forces) we thought it would be appropriate to do something for the troops.  I heard about an organization that sends care packages to those serving abroad and thought that would be a great way to go.  This organization collects leftover Halloween candy and puts it into care packages for the service men and women.  They also request hygiene items such as toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, mouthwash, etc. along with the packages of candy.  So we gathered up our leftover candy, the majority of Mr. E's stash, and the traded candy from my younger brothers (they got legos instead) to make a total of 12.5 pounds of candy!  Then I added some dental floss and some mouthwash strips (those Listerine things that clear your sinuses for a week), packaged it all up and sent it off on Monday.  Added bonus-- we don't have all that candy sitting around to hinder our efforts to eat healthier.

2.  If you read this blog regularly then you know about little Ethan who recently passed away after a very long battle with Leukemia.  What you may not know is that his sweet mom is pregnant with baby #7 and is due at the end of the month.  I remember what it was like after Ethne passed (granted our situations are different).  There were days, especially after the help quit coming, that I just didn't want to get out of bed, much less think about making dinner.  I knew that my family needed to eat, but when you are grieving it is sometimes difficult to even think about the necessities.  Those were the days that I was most grateful for my sweet aunts, grandmother, and mother who had gotten together shortly after the accident and made me a whole bunch of freezer meals-- I had so many that there wasn't room in my freezer for them all and I had to store some at my parents' house.  I also very recently had a baby and remember well the exhaustion and busyness of a new baby.  Pair the two together and I'm not sure what I would have done.  With all this in mind I got to work and put together a handful of freezer meals for Ethan's family.  It really didn't take me long to get them all together, but I'm sure it will save Ethan's mom lots of time in the future when she is too tired to even think.  I dropped those off to her yesterday morning.  We were able to have a nice, short talk and give each other a hug that said more than any dinners ever could.  I am so grateful to know Ethan and his family and so thankful that I had the opportunity to help them in this small way.

3.  This is something I do kind of regularly, but it has been a few months since the last time I have done it and we thought it very appropriate to take bracelet sets up to Primary Children's on Ethne's birthday.

4.  This is another something that Lawrence and I do regularly, and have done every year on Ethne's birthday since she passed away, but still, it is service, and some of the best service we can give.  Shortly after Ethne's passing we determined to make her birthday a day to celebrate out eternal family rather than a day to be sad.  Yes we miss Ethne terribly, and days like her birthday can be more difficult than other days, but we try.  We gather as much of our family as we can and go participate in an endowment session at the temple.  We also encourage our family that is far away to participate in their nearest temple.  The temple is one of the places we can feel Ethne's spirit best, so we especially feel it is an appropriate place to go on her birthday.  We also know that we are helping others who have passed before us and that we are helping Ethne as she is teaching and serving others on the other side of the veil (to learn more about LDS temples just click).  This year we were able to attend with my (Melissa's) parents and paternal grandmother.  We were sad that more weren't able to attend with us, but understood that work schedules can be hard to get around.  The session was made sweeter when my sister, Jessica's, brother and his wife were also in attendance and Lawrence's dad's cousin and her husband were also there.  It was really neat to see extra friends and family there, even if they didn't really know the significance of the day for us.

5.  Last, but certainly not least, we purchased gifts that we would have given Ethne and donated them
to the Road Home in Salt Lake.  I probably should have planned a little better as this didn't go over quite the way I had hoped for it to, but it was good nonetheless.  We purchased an outfit, a couple toys, and also took a bracelet set.  We hope that the girl(s) who receive these items can feel as loved and as special as Ethne is to us.

We took our boys along with us on all of these projects, except for the temple, and I hope that they can see us serving others and learn to serve as well.  We did make sure that Mr. E knew we were going to the temple and why we were going, he really wanted to go with us so we promised him that he could go when he is older and that we would take him to walk around the temple soon.

One last note:  I cannot take full credit for this challenge.  Several months ago my mom saw someone ask for acts of service for their birthday.  She called me and suggested that we try the same kind of thing for Ethne's birthday.  I'll admit that I had been thinking about our family doing service on her birthday this year, but I hadn't thought about inviting others to join us.  So I just have to say thank you to my mom for the suggestion, it really turned out well!

P.S. This is an official heads up, start planning 6 acts of service for next year.

Birthday Wishes

Here are some of the acts of service some of our friends and family have participated in to honor Ethne:

We are doing operation Christmas child through Samaritan's Purse for 1 boy and 1 girl ages 5-9. In honor of Ethne. Love you guys!♡

I didn't do anything very special, but I did rescue a dog who was wandering around the streets, bring it home and then find his owners and return him. I also babysat for a couple who are pregnant- I didn't accept payment. They needed a date before the new baby came. I unplugged a single mom's sink, and I sent out a card to my aunt for thanksgiving. My last act of service, today, is smiling. I'm going to smile at everyone I see today. :)

Hello :)

We all really thought a lot about what we wanted to do for service.  We all came up with something that we felt made us think of Ethne and something that would carry her sweet spirit beyond just today.

We decided to make bracelets that will be donated to Shade Tree (battered women and children's shelter) and Child Haven.  When children are removed from their homes (for various reasons) these bracelets are given to them by police officers, fire fighters, and Child Protective Services.  The bracelets are something they can call their own and something that brightens their day.  We will also be donating some to the troops to pass out to children who are victims of bombings in war torn countries.  Our goal was for each of us to make 5 tonight for Family Home Evening.  It was such a great night with an amazing spirit!! The kids loved it and I had to force them to stop and go to bed.  We have 30 bracelets and the kids think they can easily double that number tomorrow.  Thanks for giving us the inspiration we needed to get the service ball rolling!!  I know the bracelets will be loved!!

I have a lady in my neighborhood that needs childcare, but can't pay for it. I am a licensed in-home daycare provider. I am providing her with free child care for 3 months in honor of your Ethne

We think of Ethne many times and in many different ways but it has been special to think of her as I have helped the missionaries with special tasks and concerns the last few days and today.  I won't list them but now I will always think of Ethne in connection with service, helping others.  Ethne will always have a special place in our family and we look forward to being with her again.  I like to think that she is able to be with us at special times.  

And a few blogs:

http://elizasownlittleworld.blogspot.com/2014/11/on-this-very-special-day.html

http://mylife-plana.blogspot.com/2014/11/a-day-for-remembering.html

http://kathrynlesliestone.blogspot.com/2014/11/a-special-day-of-remembrance.html

More tomorrow.

Ethne's 5th

With Ethne's birthday fast approaching I would like to make a request.  Each birthday that we miss we have felt a hole.  We miss buying presents and throwing a party for our Princess.  We visit the cemetery, have cake and ice cream, and send her balloons, but without her smiling face and happy hugs it's just not the same.

Ethne loved everyone and loved to show people how she loved them.  So with this in mind we would like to ask a favor.  In order to better celebrate Ethne's 5th birthday, and to better feel her presence we would like to invite anyone who would like to participate to preform 5 acts of service in the week leading up to and on her birthday, November 11.

We will be serving also and will make a post about it after her birthday.  We would love to share your stories too.  So, if you feel so inclined as to participate in our week of birthday service please take pictures and email us with your stories and we will share them too.  lmeestone@gmail.com  Thank you for helping us make this birthday for Ethne an Ethne kind of day by showing love to those around you!

10:20 am

Sweet Ethan returned to the loving arms of his Father in Heaven this morning. My heart breaks for the loving family he has left behind but I am also so very grateful for temples and eternal families.

Celebrating Ethne's Birthday

So the day is almost over and I haven't written anything myself about remembering Ethne yet.  I haven't even made a post in a while; but today I do want to talk about what we do to remember our special girl on this great day.

We started on Saturday with a trip to the Jordan River Temple.  We decided that we need to go to the temple every year as a family.  We were joined by Melissa's family as we attended the temple and took time to feel closer to heaven.  While waiting in the chapel, the organist started playing Families Can Be Together Forever and I felt a big stirring of emotions that I hadn't felt in a while.  I began feeling closer to Ethne, while at the same time missing her so deeply because she felt so far away.  As we continued through the session, it seemed undeniable that she was there with us.  I also felt that there were other family members and ancestors in attendance with us.  One of those was my granddad who passed away earlier this year.  Granddad is also a WWII vet and has been on my thoughts quite a bit today as well.

We took some time in the Celestial room after the session and I took some time to meditate and reminisce about Ethne and the many things I have learned since Ethne has died, and also the memories that she left behind.

After the session we got a call from my parents who had gone to the Rexburg Temple the same night.  The felt inspired to go to do a sealing session.  When the got up to the sealing room they discovered that the sealer officiating that night was Karl Edwards, the identical twin brother of Melissa's grandfather.  They told Bro. Edwards that they were there to celebrate Ethne's birthday.  During the session he asked if he could tell the other couples why they were there.  He told about Ethne's passing and how important it is for us to go to the temple and have an eternal family so that we can be reunited.  My mom also pointed out that Uncle Karl was officiating that night, and that when Melissa and I had gotten married it was his identical twin brother--Melissa's grandfather--that had sealed us in the first place. (Side note: although that day is a blur, if I remember right, Uncle Karl was also the one who helped me give Edward a blessing when we arrived at the hospital after the accident). 




Today, the 11th, I had to be to work by noon and we had things that we wanted to do to celebrate before I did.  We went to the store and picked up some balloons and took them to the cemetery to release.  We also asked Mr. E to pick out some flowers and a stuffed animal.  After not picking either I picked a flower he had motioned to at one point and went to check out.  While checking out, he picked up another flower and brought it to me as well.  We got both of them and a stuffed cat that said "Happy Birthday" on it.  We went out to Ethne, tied one ballon to a decoration and we each released another balloon.  We then all sat down and had a family prayer.

We grabbed some lunch on the way home where we opened up the memory chest my our family gave to us at Christmas to go through some things that we have held onto to remind us of Ethne.  Mostly clothes and a few toys, and an unplayable DVD of Robots that she once wanted to watch so badly she tried to shove it on the DVD player while another DVD was in it already.  Doing so scratched it so badly that it could never be watched again.

These are the types of things we plan on doing every year on Nov. 11th.  Not only a day when we remember the brave veterans who defend the cause of liberty and freedom, but a day that we celebrate our eternal family.