When I was about 15 years old I earned my Eagle Scout award. My mom wanted me to get it before I turned 16 because she was worried that if I waited that long I might not get. Upon completion we arranged my Eagle Court of Honor and sent out some announcements to family and friends. Unbeknownst to me, my mother had found the addresses of a few other people to send invites to. I believe it was right after my court of honor that my mom came to me with a stack of letters to open. The majority were cards of congratulation from all of the living US presidents - including Bill Clinton (who was president at that time). Even though I haven't agreed with all of them, I truly still appreciate their responses, even of they were generic. But there were two others that were included that I couldn't wait to brag about to my friends. One was a letter from Dave Thomas - the founder of Wendy's, and the other included an autographed picture that said, "To Lawrence, Congratulations! -Bob Hope" I was hoping to put a picture of it on here but it's still at my parents house apparently. Growing up I loved listening to comedians. I would retell their jokes and learn their routines. I even remember doing a pantomime from Red Skelton for a talent show in Elementary School. Skelton and Hope were hands down my two favorites.
When Melissa was pregnant with Ethne, we attended a Brian Bromberg concert at BYU-Idaho. One of the things we asked him to sign was a poster for our unborn daughter. He very graciously did and we were proud to have gotten Ethne her first piece of "Swag." We keep that poster in her memory chest.
After she died I was looking for ways to help keep her memory alive, while trying to bring some happiness into our home. I found a website online that had a list of celebrity addresses and decided, in secret, to take some of the case sleeves of Ethne's favorite movies and get them autographed in her honor.
I came up with different variations of a letter that I sent out to each actor (trying to personalize each one) and included a return address so they could send them back. I don't remember who responded the fastest but I think it was Zachery Levi with our Tangled sleeve. It even said, "Love & Blessings. You'll be missed."
We also Got back Cars with a signature from Larry the Cable Guy, who also signed it as Mater. We really thought that was neat.
I think Melissa's favorite had to be from Jodi Benson - the voice of Ariel. She not only signed the sleeve, but included an additional signed picture of her and returned the letter I sent her. At the bottom of the letter she said, "I'm incredibly sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. I can't imagine... May God comfort you both daily - God Bless." That personal touch really meant a lot to both of us.
The one that I think I was most excited about was our sleeve from Robots. This is a movie that Ethne loved so much she scratched it and made it unwatchable when she tried to put it in the DVD player herself. I planned on sending it to a couple actors from the film including Ewan Mcgregor and Drew Carey (another one of my all time favorite comedians), but out of fear of losing it I kept it after one signature - Robin Williams. The movie sleeve was signed along with another picture and included a generic letter from his office. I don't know if the signature is really his, but I also won't allow anyone to convince me otherwise. You see, Robin Williams was another big comedic influence growing up. Although I was not familiar with how vulgar he could be, I did know that he had a personality that could make anyone laugh. When I was little I remember waking up in the middle of the night and laying down on the floor by my parents' bed. To help calm me down from a bad dream, or something, they would turn on Nick-At-Night (It was probably so I would just let them sleep). I remember two shows that I would watch - Mr. Ed, and Mork and Mindy. Mr. Williams was one of the first celebrities I could identify. I remember hearing once that he could be hard to work with on a movie because he was always making everyone laugh. I remember thinking that I wanted to be like that-- someone who made everyone around him happy.
Upon hearing about his death I was quite saddened. When I found out it was a suicide, it hurt me. I don't know what he was going through and I am glad that I don't have to deal with the same pains and sufferings he did. I view this ending as the greatest tragedy to a life that I admired. Again, I don't know his whole story, but what I did know I enjoyed.
As I write this next part, I want it to be understood that I personally feel that suicide is never the right path. It is tragic, selfish, and, if you look at the eternal perspective, it is not a simple way out. It does have consequences. That having been said, since Ethne's death I have seen suicide from a different perspective. Be careful judging someone who chooses this path (Matthew 7). We don't know what the Lord knows. While I still know that it is wrong, I also know that God loves us as his children.
After Ethne's death we joined a grievance group that was headed by a man who's boy had committed suicide a few years before. He talked about suffering with depression that was so strong he had contemplated it himself. He said that going through that gave him more insight into what his son was going through.
Later on, I met someone who told me about a friend who committed suicide while preparing to go on a mission. Even though it had happened a little while before, I found myself praying for that family and hoping that they had found strength in the gospel. I then thought about that boy's situation and prayed for understanding on how God would deal with this situation. I still don't know, and am very grateful for a Heavenly Father who is both just and merciful who does know, but the following quote did come to my mind:
“The Prophet Joseph Smith declared—and he never taught a more comforting
doctrine—that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine
promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would
save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity. Though some of
the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner
or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out
after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the
life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to
justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path;
but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving
and forgiving father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not
have been in vain. Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold
on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the
salvation of God” (Orson F. Whitney, in Conference Report, Apr. 1929,
110).The Atonement is for all of us. I don't know what the eternal destiny is for Mr. Williams, all I know is that he and his family are in my prayers. I pray that they may all come to know the truth. I even pray that Ethne might even have the chance to help guide someone who was influential to me from my youth. Many of you, if not all of you, prayed for us when we were first suffering our loss. Take a moment and pray for the Williams family and any others who are suffering losses and affliction. They need help just like we did. I testify to you that it is important. Never in my life have I felt the strength of the prayers of others like I did when Ethne died. I literally felt that faith carry us for a long time. Only 2 other times in my life have I felt that and neither of those times were the feelings as overwhelming as then.
-Lawrence
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