Christmas Time is Here

This time of year is one that I usually am quite excited for, and I almost always find myself spending a little more than I should - especially once Ethne showed up.  This year isn't different in that regard, but I have found it a little more difficult to get as excited this Christmas season.  Yet, at the same time, I can't think of a better time of year to remember Ethne, than when we celebrate the birth of our Savior.  The one who atoned for our sins, who gave his life for our eternal welfare, and offered a path for us to be with Ethne forever as we choose to follow him.

To help me find some peace and joy, as we struggle through this Holiday season without Ethne (we understand she is not that far from us, but it is still hardto not have her physically here) I have decided that I want to strive to love more.  To help me work on this, I decided to look towards the example of the prophet, Pres. Thomas S. Monson. 

Ethne at great grandpa and grandma Stone's

Pres. Monson has clearly been a great example of love in his life.  One who has sacrificed to serve others.  Recently, the first presidency held their annual Christmas Devotional.  If you are interested in hearing what they taught this year about the Savior, and Christmas you can click here.  Last year, we started a tradition of watching part of the previous year's devotional every Sunday between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  From the devotionals last year and the year before, Pres. Monson mentioned his annual Christmas readings - Luke 2, "A Christmas Carrol", and "The Mansion."  Every year, as long as I can remember, we have read Luke 2 as a family on Christmas Eve.  Last year I decided I was going to read the other 2 books as well.  I read "The Mansion" on my breaks at work and started "A Christmas Carrol."

Ethne and one of her favorite presents

I never did finish "A Christmas Carrol,"  I don't even think that I got through the first chapter.  I think it was partially due to the fact that I only had a digital copy on my iPod.  This year, however, I got a hard copy and finished it in just a couple of days.  This is a story I am familiar with (when I was really young I use to watch the Mickey Mouse version every year, and then eventually "A Muppet Christmas Carrol" became a family favorite), as I am sure everyone is, but reading the actual story was amazing.  I wanted to share a few of my favorite lines as I try to encourage everyone to read this story.

The first comes from the visit with the Ghost of Christmas Present.  While they watch the Cratchit Family gather for Christmas, Mrs. Cratchit asks her husband, Bob, how Tiny Tim did at the church.  He responded, "As good as gold and better.  Somehow he gets thoughtful, sitting by himself so much, and thinks the strangest things you ever heard.  He told me, coming home, that he hoped the people saw him in the church, because he was a cripple, and it might be pleasant to them to remember upon Christmas Day, who made lame beggars walk and blind men to see."

Here is this little boy who is crippled and suffering so much because of his illness, and he hopes that people use his weakness as a reminder of the Savior who made so many people whole again.  Its an amazing example to think about the fact that he wasn't bitter because the Lord did come heal him, but he wanted his burden to uplifting for someone else.  As I read it again I think about Paul who rejoiced in his trials.

I truly hope that we are doing the same thing with our life. It is easy to have bitter feelings come into our heart as we wonder why the Lord took our little girl while others who are "less deserving" continue to live on.  I know we have worked hard to keep those feelings from entering our hearts, and I truly do hope that as you read about our trials you can be reminded of that great man "who made lame beggars walk and blind men to see."  He even was able to raise the dead, including raising himself, giving us the opportunity to rise and be with each other again one day.

The other part I bring up is again with the Cratchit family, but with the Ghost of Christmas Future.  After Bob comes home, he escapes for a moment while he cries (something I've had to do on more than one occasion).  After he returns to his family they are talking about a few things.  The last thing Scrooge heard from this scene was this, "'I am very happy,' said little Bob, 'I am very happy!'"  The story continues, "Mrs. Cratchet kissed him , his daughters kissed him, the two young Cratchits kissed him, and Peter and himself shook hands.  Spirit of Tiny Tim, thy childish essence was from God!"

Despite all of the sorrow and heartache i have experienced this year, I cannot help but feel that I have been blessed.  Though I miss Ethne, so much that is physically painful at times, I want to say that "I am very happy!"  The joy and comfort of the Lord are something that I have been seeking and working for this year and because of the growth that I have gained I have been able to feel joy.  Not joy as the world giveth, but the joy of the Lord in blessing our lives through trials and struggle.

I also plan on talking about the Mansion, but I am going to read it again this week before I create my next post.

-Lawrence