Life

"...is what happens while you're busy making plans."

Such a familiar quote that has been ringing more true than ever lately.  When we first got married I had every intention of finishing my bachelor's degree before we had kids.  I knew that I wanted, more than anything, to be a mother, but I also knew that it was a regret of my own mother's that she never finished her degree.  I also knew that kids made it a lot harder to finish school, and I was going to do it.  But within 6 months of being married I knew that I couldn't wait.  It was physically painful to see mothers with their babies, I wanted, needed, to have a child.  We prayed about it, and it was done.  Ethne was on her way.  We were thrilled to say the least.  I had made other plans, but life happened.  She was a good baby and even went to school with us.  Then, after her birth I thought I would be content to spend a few years getting to know her, teaching her, learning from her, and just enjoying my beautiful little girl.
But while I was making other plans life happened and we decided that we needed to have another baby.  Edward was en route sooner than we had expected, but we were overjoyed, if not a little wary.  I finished school and spent a few months at home with my Princess before little boy made his appearance and it was the sweetest time in my life.  I got to play, read, sing, dance, and snuggle with the most beautiful child on the planet every day.  She brought so much joy to our family.  When Edward was born she didn't quite know what to do with him, but she quickly figured it out and took to him like a fish to water.  She loved to hold, kiss, and otherwise help out with "baby Eward."  I had such plans for my babies to grow up together and be as good of friends as Josh and I had been.  I was going to start teaching Ethne some music, she was learning her colors, she was singing more and more each day, I was busy making plans.  Then life happened.  Life happened and my baby girl, my precious princess was taken from this world to serve those on the other side. 
I miss her every second of every day.  I wish I could hold her again, her her sweet voice singing "cocorn" or "tars," see her cute little shimmy dance, or hear her push her noisy 10-in-one toy cart down the hall.  I long for the day when I can tell her not to tackle her baby brother, even though he giggled the entire time she did it, but life happened and she was needed elsewhere.  I know she is still around sometimes.  I know that I will see her again, but it seems awfully far away right now.  But someday life will happen and I will get to fulfill many of the plans that I was busy making.  So for now I will store those plans away for another day, make some new plans, and wait for life to happen.