It is hard for me to think that in a few weeks you will pass your sister up in time spent on this earth. It scares me. You are so very different from her in so many ways, but every so often a little of Ethne peeks through.
Yesterday morning you woke up extra early and I thought that if you came and snuggled with daddy and me that maybe you would go back to sleep, NOPE. Instead you watched "Ferb" and let daddy hold you, just like Ethne used to. Then, when we tried to start a new show you got very upset and got out of the bed as if to say, "Time to get up!" You have really grown into a good snuggler. We can watch a show together now and you will sit and just let me hold you. I love that!
At night I always check on you before going to bed. Sometimes you are sleeping in the funniest position and I fix you and tuck you back in. My favorite part of the day is this time, when you are sweet and sleeping and I can look at your peaceful face and whisper how much I love you. Sometimes you whisper that you love me back in your sleepy state. Other nights, when I have had a particularly hard day or I can't seem to find sleep I will pick you up and rock with you. You always cuddle right into me and sigh deeply while you get comfy, but then you just sleep while I hold you. I can always find peace with you sleeping in my arms.
You are still super busy though. Currently my family room is littered with matchbox cars. You love your "race cars" and drive them on any surface available, including me. You also love to play blocks and every so often I think I get a glimpse of how you and Ethne would play together, with her building a tower and you rushing across the playroom with a ball or truck to knock it over. I hope you can play like that with your new brother (when he is big enough). You also sing all the time and love to have us sing to you. You have certain songs that you request and occasionally you will surprise us with a new song.
We talk about Ethne and the new baby often. You have a picture of your sister in your room. I know that you don't understand now, but you will. Every night you kiss baby and Ethne good night and tell them that you love them. You recently found a baby doll and you carry it all over and even sleep with it most nights. You love to help change the baby's diaper and tuck the baby in, it's good practice. And it makes your mommy's heart happy. I think becoming a big brother has earned you a new nick name-- Mr. E.
So Mr. E, I just want you to know how much I love you. How much you help this broken mommy of yours. I treasure every day with you, and look forward to many, many more. Thank you for snuggles, and toppling block towers. Thank you for singing and dancing. Thank you for loving me, even on the days when I'm not very fun. Don't grow up too fast on me because I will always need your snuggles, hugs, and kisses. You are one of my biggest blessings.
Love,
Mommy
Living life after loss with faith, perseverance, family, and a lot of love. Learning to live with a rare disease. And homeschooling through it all. (Formerly prayers for the family)
Monday, September 30, 2013
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1 comment:
Melissa, thank you for your sweet sharing and thank you, Edward, for being a sweet brother and snuggly son.
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